Preamble

This year marks my 34th birthday, and it feels like the right time to revisit something I started four years ago. Back then, inspired by Ryan Holiday’s “33 Things I Stole From People Smarter Than Me on the Way to 33“. I began drafting my own reflections.

But life, with its relentless chaos — Covid-19, work, family — intervened, pushing this project aside. Now, amidst the world’s turmoil, I’ve decided to restore some order, return to writing, and share the lessons I’ve gathered on my journey to 35.

Four years in the making, it’s time to finally put these reflections out into the world.

Self-Awareness

1.Know Thyself

The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with — you guessed it — yourself. Think of it like the ultimate lifelong project. Take the time to figure out your strengths, weaknesses, passions, and fears. The earlier you start, the better.

Why? Because understanding who you are is the foundation for all personal growth. It’s like setting the groundwork for building an epic skyscraper — solid, secure, and ready to rise.

2. Embrace Change

Change is the only constant, right? Life loves to throw curveballs, and the best way to hit them out of the park is to be adaptable. Whether it’s a sudden shift in your career, a relationship detour, or just the everyday twists and turns, being flexible is key. Think of yourself as a river, flowing around obstacles, finding new paths. Flexibility can lead you to opportunities you never even dreamed of.

3. Accept Your Flaws

Here’s the thing — perfection is overrated. Everyone has flaws, and guess what? They make you, well, you. Embrace those imperfections like an old friend. Self-acceptance is the first step toward self-improvement. It’s like knowing the rules before you can break them — once you understand your flaws, you can work with them, not against them.

4. Trust Your Instincts

Your gut feeling? It’s there for a reason. Your intuition is like a built-in GPS, guiding you through life’s maze. Sometimes, it knows the right path better than all the logic and advice in the world. So, listen to that inner voice. It’s like your personal life coach, always steering you in the right direction — if only you’d trust it.

5. Follow Your Passion

Passion is the rocket fuel that propels you forward. Whether it’s a hobby, a career, or a cause close to your heart, chase what sets your soul on fire. Your passions are a big part of who you are, and they’re key to your happiness and fulfillment. Think of it as your personal treasure hunt — find what lights you up, and don’t settle for aimlessness.

Personal Growth and Development

6. Invest in Education & Never Stop Learning

Learning doesn’t end when you leave school. Consider it a lifelong adventure. Whether it’s formal education, online courses, or diving into self-study, keep feeding your brain. Think of it as investing in a stock that always yields returns. The world’s always changing, and so should you. Lifelong learning is your ticket to staying sharp and adaptable, keeping your ideas fresh and your mind wide open.

7. Build Resilience

Life’s going to throw punches — count on it. But your true measure of success isn’t how many times you get hit, it’s how many times you get back up. Resilience is your hidden superpower. Face challenges head-on, learn from them, and watch yourself bounce back stronger each time. Think of resilience as your personal force field; it might get dented, but it should never break.

8. Cultivate Emotional Intelligence

Understanding emotions — both yours and others’ — is like having a secret decoder ring for life’s complexities. Emotional intelligence isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a vital skill. It helps you navigate relationships, manage stress, and make wiser decisions. In fact, it’s just as important as IQ, maybe even more so. Picture it as the steering wheel that guides you smoothly through the twists and turns of life.

9. Establish Your Principals

Your principles are like the moral bedrock of your life — they keep you grounded no matter what. Building strong principles helps you stay true to your values and make decisions that resonate with who you truly are. They act like a moral compass, guiding you through tough times and ensuring you live with integrity. Remember, you’re the writer of your own rulebook.

10. Set Your Boundaries

Knowing where to draw the line is crucial for maintaining your mental and emotional health. Boundaries are like the fences that protect your garden — your time, energy, and peace of mind. Setting them isn’t just about keeping things out, but about honoring and respecting yourself. It’s one of the most important forms of self-care.

Relationships and Connections

11. Value Your Loved Ones

Family and close friends are irreplaceable and what keeps you going. Take the time to cherish these relationships, show appreciation, and be truly present. Sure, life gets busy, but there’s always time for a quick text to let them know you care. These connections are your anchor in the storm of life.

12. Choose Your Circle Wisely

The people you surround yourself with shape your world. Choose friends who uplift, inspire, and support you. It’s about quality over quantity—better to have a few genuine connections than many shallow ones. As a wise friend once said,

“We don’t need many friends. We just need a few great ones that’ll go out of their comfort zone just for us.”

13. Nurture Close Relationships

Strong relationships don’t just happen; they require effort. Whether with family, friends, or a partner, invest time in nurturing these connections. Show appreciation, communicate openly, and be present in their lives. Relationships are like gardens — they flourish when tended to with care.

14. Communication Is Everything

At the heart of every healthy relationship lies open and honest communication. Whether personal or professional, practice active listening, express yourself clearly, and handle conflicts with respect and empathy. Good communication is the glue that holds relationships together.

15. Practice Empathy

One night, after a jam session, Taiwanese musician R-Chord shared a piece of wisdom with me:

”做人，一定要懂得将心比心，才能够写得出让人感动的歌。“

This roughly translates to “As a person, we must always walk a mile in other’s shoes; that’s how you write songs that move people.” This advice on empathy has stuck with me in everything I do. Empathy isn’t just important; it’s essential to truly connect with others.

Career

16. Align Your Career with Your Values

Your work should be a reflection of who you are and what you believe in. Don’t settle for a job that doesn’t resonate with your core values. A fulfilling career is one where you find purpose and joy. Mark Twain once said,

“Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

That’s the goal — work that feels less like work and more like passion in action.

17. Understand the Value of Time

Time is your most precious resource — once spent, it’s gone for good. Use it wisely. Prioritise tasks that align with your goals and eliminate distractions. But remember, time spent enjoying yourself isn’t wasted. Balance and moderation are key. Manage your time well to stay productive, but don’t forget to take breaks to recharge and bring balance back into your life.

Balance and moderation is key here. Time management is crucial for productivity.

18. Take Calculated Risks

Taking risks is essential for growth, but they should be calculated. Weigh the pros and cons, and don’t let fear hold you back from pursuing opportunities that could lead to success. As the Chinese saying goes,

“一人飽，全家飽”

When you’re young and independent, it’s the best time to take risks. Later in life, with more responsibilities, risk-taking becomes more challenging.

19. Learn the Art of Negotiation

Negotiation is a vital skill in both personal and professional settings. Whether it’s discussing salary, contracts, or deals, effective negotiation always leads to better outcomes. It’s like a dance — knowing when to push, when to yield, and how to reach a satisfying conclusion for all involved.

20. Network Effectively

Your network is your net worth. Building meaningful connections within and outside your industry can open doors you didn’t even know existed. Networking isn’t just about meeting people; it’s about forging relationships that expand your perspectives and unlock new opportunities.

21. Take Ownership

Taking ownership of your work is crucial. Bill Bernbach put it best: “When a team is given responsibility for their own work, it becomes their property.” I believe that pride in your work, whether it’s a small function in a large app or branding for an entire company, is essential. If I’m not proud of something, I don’t ship it. Simple as that.

22. Don’t Get Sucked into Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is a real challenge — feeling like you’re not truly qualified despite your successes. I’ve been there, feeling overwhelmed by new projects. But a wise lecturer once asked me if I could teach someone else my job and expect the company to function the same. Of course, the answer was no. That simple question reminded me that my experiences and knowledge are unique, and everyone successful has been in the same boat.

23. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

The conversation with her eventually leads to The Peter Principle, which posits that a person will be promoted until they reach a level of incompetence. This idea has helped me muster the courage to take on big projects. Stepping out of your comfort zone is essential for growth, even if it means sometimes feeling out of your depth.

Finance

24. Spend Responsibly by Budgeting

Budgeting isn’t just about tracking expenses; it’s about making conscious choices with your money. By setting a budget, you’re not restricting yourself — you’re empowering yourself to spend on what truly matters. It’s like giving your finances a road map, ensuring that every dollar has a purpose, and helping you avoid unnecessary stress down the road. Think of budgeting as the key to financial freedom, allowing you to enjoy life without the constant worry of overspending.

25. Insurance is Important

Life is unpredictable, and that’s where insurance steps in. It’s your safety net, providing peace of mind when things don’t go as planned. Whether it’s health, auto, home, or life insurance, having the right coverage means you’re prepared for the unexpected. Think of insurance as your financial shield, protecting you and your loved ones from potential setbacks. It’s not just an expense — it’s an investment in your future security.

Impact & Legacy

26. Make a Difference in the World

Life isn’t just about you — it’s about the mark you leave on others. Whether through your work, relationships, or community efforts, aim to make a positive impact. Your influence can ripple far beyond what you might ever see.

27. Give Back to Your Community

There’s a special kind of fulfillment in giving back. Whether you volunteer, donate, or simply show kindness, contributing to your community enriches both your life and others’. It’s the kind of investment that pays dividends in joy and connection.

28. Pursue Meaningful Work

Work isn’t just about earning a paycheck — it’s about making a difference. Seek out work that resonates with your values and allows you to contribute meaningfully to the world. When your work aligns with your purpose, it becomes more than just a job.

29. Leave a Lasting Legacy

Think about how you want to be remembered. Your daily actions shape the legacy you leave behind. Strive to create something positive and lasting, whether through your work, relationships, or societal contributions. Your legacy is your final gift to the world.

30. Establish a Digital Will

Especially for tech enthusiasts, having a digital will is important. Your subscriptions, hardware, software — these aren’t things your family might know how to handle. It’s essential to plan for the handover of your digital assets. For someone like me, who runs a home lab, it’s vital to detail who should take over what, which services to keep, and which subscriptions to terminate. Chrissy LeMaire’s guide one End-of-life Disaster Response is an excellent reference for these matters. It’s all about making sure your digital life is responsibly passed on.

Self-Reflection & Wisdom

31. Live in the moment

The present moment is all we truly have. Don’t get lost in the past or fret about the future. Focus on the here and now, making the most of every second. Life is happening right now, so embrace it fully.

32. Respect Differences

Our world is a mosaic of diverse people, cultures, religion, and perspectives. These differences make life richer and more vibrant. Respect them — diversity is what makes the world such an interesting place to live in.

33. Define Your Own Success

Success is personal; don’t let society dictate what it should look like for you. Whether it’s a booming career, a loving family, or a peaceful life, define success on your own terms. It’s your life, after all.

34. Be True to Yourself

Authenticity is about staying true to who you are, despite external pressures. Don’t mold yourself to fit someone else’s idea of who you should be. Be proud of who you are — flaws and all. Authenticity is your superpower.

35. Strive for Authenticity, Not Perfection

Perfection is a mirage, but authenticity is powerful. Don’t chase an illusion—strive to be genuine. People are drawn to those who are real, not those who pretend to be flawless. In a world of copies, be an original.

Conclusion

As I reflect on these 35 lessons, it’s clear that they’ve shaped not just how I live, but how I view the world. They serve as reminders to be intentional in my choices, to seek growth in every experience, and to stay true to who I am. Life is a constant journey of learning and evolving — embrace it fully, make each moment count, and never stop striving for a life that is both meaningful and fulfilling. These lessons are my compass, guiding me toward a future rich with purpose and joy.